Holy crap! Here I sit, on the Eve of my 20th week. Could it BE??! Life, God, Faith... It's all pretty freakin' amazing if you ask me!
I don't know if I wrote about this or not, but RIGHT after Matt and I "tried" for this pregnancy, I had a meltdown and was so terrified, and on the verge of regret. I was SO terrified I would for sure be going through what I went through with Baby Bean and Jakob. I prayed to God daily, asking him to not let me become pregnant, if it meant losing another baby. I just told him I couldn't handle it.
Well, I think he heard me, and not only is there a beautiful baby growing inside of me today, but I have made it through 20 weeks of pregnancy! Baby boy is sounding great, looking great! Next Monday I go for his anatomy scan, and I CANNOT wait!!
I had a pretty emotional Easter. I was able to contain it to just between Matt, myself and God though. I quietly cried through Church. Ever since I found out I was pregnant on the 5th of January, I found the next Holiday, and checked to see how far I would be by that date. On the calendar I found Easter, and found that 3 days after Easter I would be 20 weeks along. In my heart it looked SO HARD to get to that date. Because of the last pregnancies, I just had negative thoughts. Well, I am here sitting now. One day away from Easter! Praise You God!!!
And, at my 20 week OB appt. yesterday, I happily weighed in at the SAME weight I started at 20 weeks ago! I lost 2 lbs throughout the last 20 weeks, but have gained them back and am now back at 0! The Dr was VERY impressed. My belly is DEFINITELY growing, so I am probably just losing a little bit of weight as we go. I am NOT dieting, or restricting myself. But, being on a restricted diet, and exercising still (walking 1 mile a day), is just I guess keeping me balanced. :) No complaints here!
Today we go for a follow up for Matt. He had some tests done about a month ago and today we find out those results. He is sitting in the living room playing Angry Birds on our ipod, trying to keep his mind from worrying/wandering. Please pray for him today? Thank you!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Eating right while you're pregnant?!
We have all heard of the woman who get to "eat for two" during pregnancy and gain 50-100 lbs and not have a doctor even flinch in their direction, right? The woman who have absolutely zero risk pregnancies. The woman who smoke cigarettes, marijuana, may even drink alcohol, or worse, do major drugs... But yet they give birth to normal (in this sense) babies.
I did EVERYTHING I could before this pregnancy to ensure a healthy baby/pregnancy, and so far, it's paying off! I lost 40 lbs, I quit smoking, I changed my eating habits and I got on a new medication to help with my hormones. So far, these all have made for a very comfortable, uncomplicated pregnancy. However, this is not to say that I am super, SUPER jealous of the woman who can eat a truck load of ice cream! I will do ANYTHING for this little boy to come home healthy, but I must say sometimes I wish I could just pig out - because lets face it - all pregnant woman just want to eat! I have lost 2 lbs so far during this pregnancy (but you wouldn't guess that looking at this baby mountain protruding out the front of me!). When you have to check your blood sugar 4 times a day, and document EVERYTHING you eat, and then have a nurse check it every 2 weeks - you don't slip! I want to!!... But I don't.
After I lost Jakob, a fellow baby loss mom and I were talking and I said "I just want to make it to the "safe point" to be able to relax, in a pregnancy. She kind of laughed and said, "Once you get to 12 weeks, you will want to get to viability, and then you will worry about stillbirth". Now remember, when you have lost 2 already, you fear ALL of the worst. I thought, after that mom and I talked - I doubt it, I will be fine at 12 weeks. Wrong. I got to 12 and still worried. Is my cervix competent? Is his heart okay? Now, I am stressed over the anatomy scan, because we denied any and all testing. After that, I will be stressed until viability! Then, I am HOPING, at that point, I will be able to relax. I sure sound like a nervous "nelly"!. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I am not in control, and that He is. When I remind myself of this, I relax a lot. It is what it is. I can do this!
Unbelievably, I am nearing closer and closer to a point in pregnancy that honestly, I NEVER expected to be witnessing! I am ALMOST halfway. I am SO close I can taste it! In less than 2 weeks, I will be out of these "teen" weeks and feeling like I have graduated to a better stage!
I often daydream about this little boy... I wonder what/who he will look like. Will he have mommy's nose? Daddy's chin? Mommy's red hair? Daddy's cute butt? I am so happy and grateful to God for giving us this gift. So grateful in fact, that, it takes away all of the selfishness I have for not getting to eat junk food all day! :)
Happy weekend everyone!
I did EVERYTHING I could before this pregnancy to ensure a healthy baby/pregnancy, and so far, it's paying off! I lost 40 lbs, I quit smoking, I changed my eating habits and I got on a new medication to help with my hormones. So far, these all have made for a very comfortable, uncomplicated pregnancy. However, this is not to say that I am super, SUPER jealous of the woman who can eat a truck load of ice cream! I will do ANYTHING for this little boy to come home healthy, but I must say sometimes I wish I could just pig out - because lets face it - all pregnant woman just want to eat! I have lost 2 lbs so far during this pregnancy (but you wouldn't guess that looking at this baby mountain protruding out the front of me!). When you have to check your blood sugar 4 times a day, and document EVERYTHING you eat, and then have a nurse check it every 2 weeks - you don't slip! I want to!!... But I don't.
After I lost Jakob, a fellow baby loss mom and I were talking and I said "I just want to make it to the "safe point" to be able to relax, in a pregnancy. She kind of laughed and said, "Once you get to 12 weeks, you will want to get to viability, and then you will worry about stillbirth". Now remember, when you have lost 2 already, you fear ALL of the worst. I thought, after that mom and I talked - I doubt it, I will be fine at 12 weeks. Wrong. I got to 12 and still worried. Is my cervix competent? Is his heart okay? Now, I am stressed over the anatomy scan, because we denied any and all testing. After that, I will be stressed until viability! Then, I am HOPING, at that point, I will be able to relax. I sure sound like a nervous "nelly"!. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I am not in control, and that He is. When I remind myself of this, I relax a lot. It is what it is. I can do this!
Unbelievably, I am nearing closer and closer to a point in pregnancy that honestly, I NEVER expected to be witnessing! I am ALMOST halfway. I am SO close I can taste it! In less than 2 weeks, I will be out of these "teen" weeks and feeling like I have graduated to a better stage!
I often daydream about this little boy... I wonder what/who he will look like. Will he have mommy's nose? Daddy's chin? Mommy's red hair? Daddy's cute butt? I am so happy and grateful to God for giving us this gift. So grateful in fact, that, it takes away all of the selfishness I have for not getting to eat junk food all day! :)
Happy weekend everyone!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
He keeps us safe!
I owe the success of this pregnancy to 2 things/people. God & Metformin. Wow! I guess I am mixing God/religion and Science... That feels weird to say, but I know its absolutely true...
Tomorrow I will be 18 weeks along. Time just keeps ticking by, and I couldn't be more tickled about it!
I was referred to Sweet Success (a program for pregnant women with GD, Type I or II diabetes, or other blood sugar issues). I was a little frustrated at first because 1, I am NOT diabetic or have GD, and the dietitian I met with did not understand what I was telling her. 2, they wanted me to change up my diet to calorie counting, instead of carbohydrate counting, which I've become accustomed too in the last year. I talked with the mgr of the program yesterday and got it all straightened out. They also gave me a new meter, which ended up being a POS! It was WAY off and of course I started to freak. My old/good meter (major brand) was reading my fasting #s between 70-90 and this new meter (cheap/generic) was reading 95+.. Well, over 95 consistently calls for more meds or insulin! So it was actually a big deal. I guess I realized that in life instead of sitting and being frustrated, just calling someone and talking makes it all the much better!
We have chosen our son's name! We are SO excited! As soon as we have the anatomy scan and are for sure its a boy (the private place we went to said they were "pretty sure", and the pictures do look more boy than girl, but we want to make sure) we will announce his name! :) We are in love with it!
Not much else going on! Except I am praising God and feeling SO good!
Tomorrow I will be 18 weeks along. Time just keeps ticking by, and I couldn't be more tickled about it!
I was referred to Sweet Success (a program for pregnant women with GD, Type I or II diabetes, or other blood sugar issues). I was a little frustrated at first because 1, I am NOT diabetic or have GD, and the dietitian I met with did not understand what I was telling her. 2, they wanted me to change up my diet to calorie counting, instead of carbohydrate counting, which I've become accustomed too in the last year. I talked with the mgr of the program yesterday and got it all straightened out. They also gave me a new meter, which ended up being a POS! It was WAY off and of course I started to freak. My old/good meter (major brand) was reading my fasting #s between 70-90 and this new meter (cheap/generic) was reading 95+.. Well, over 95 consistently calls for more meds or insulin! So it was actually a big deal. I guess I realized that in life instead of sitting and being frustrated, just calling someone and talking makes it all the much better!
We have chosen our son's name! We are SO excited! As soon as we have the anatomy scan and are for sure its a boy (the private place we went to said they were "pretty sure", and the pictures do look more boy than girl, but we want to make sure) we will announce his name! :) We are in love with it!
Not much else going on! Except I am praising God and feeling SO good!
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