2010... Bittersweet

So I was telling Matt yesterday how BADLY I wanted the year 2010 to be over. How SO many awful things happened during the year.

But then I realized that some really great things have happened too, and why not think of it as at least a wash... A push. Tie.

In 2010....

• I became pregnant with my very first child... (January)+
• I lost my very first child at 8w6d... (February)-
• I found out that I had a blood sugar problem, and quickly started to take control-/+
• I married the man of my dreams. My soul mate! (March)+
  
• I became pregnant with my second child... (May)+
• I lost my second child at 13w...(August)-
• I found out that I had an adrenal problem and was put on medication to correct it-/+
• I have lost 30lbs! +
  

If you add up the + and the -, then obviously there were more moments of joy... But those - make the + marks almost invisible.

The only thing in the above list that makes any of 2010, was my wedding. Otherwise, I am SO incredibly happy that this year is drawing to an end. Usually I am in bed on New Year's Eve by 10pm... But this year, I will be up and celebrating the new 2011 year!

Here's to hoping that 2011 brings LOTS of joy and praise. Smiles and laughter. I chose to look forward, but always remember the past.

Hello world.. How ya been? Good to see you my old friend....

Wow! I need to just take a few relaxing breaths! Today was a BIG day. Believe it or not, I had a life changing doctor's appointment, went to the lab for blood work AND went to the dentist.. YES! All in ONE day. I'm unstoppable...

This blog may go back and forth and seem confusing, so please bare with me!

Before I get into everything from this morning, I will give you a little background. After I lost baby bean, my primary doctor ran some tests to see about hormones, PCOS and some other things. My DHEA (a hormone produced by the adrenal glands) was 2648 - with normal range being 100-700. I was sent for a CT scan of my adrenal glands and kidneys right away. Now, do any of you know what a hypochondriac is? Look it up and you will find a picture of me. During the CT I refused to have the iodine injection done because I was a wuss. I had to drink the redicat drink though. Gross. The doctor got the results and said I just had a few "nodes" on my kidneys/glands and she retested the DHEA, which came back at 185. She stopped looking into it and figured it was the vitamins I was on at the time and that they had DHEA in them. Well, she unfortunately was wrong.

Then came Jakob bean. Everything was going great in the pregnancy, with some minor issues. Then, it ended. After we lost Jakob, we were referred to an endocrinologist, who specializes in hormones/diabetes etc. She ran a TON of tests in early September. Last week I got a phone call from her nurse asking me to go get ANOTHER CT scan. Okay, time to be a wuss again! I told Matt "I don't want the injection!"... I didn't even care that something was wrong with my blood. Seriously, who does that? Me apparently! So, I called the nurse and told her that I had gotten a CT done back in May (thinking in my head the entire time "oh jeez, the doctor will see it and see that i didn't use the contrast and make me go for another one!") and where I had it done. She told me that she would pull it up and show the doctor, then call me back to let me know if she wanted me to repeat it. Oh and she also told me that my DHEA was 1465 and that my 17-Hydroxyprogesterone was elevated as well, and I believe it was cortisol. So, I waited, and God must have been in a good mood that day because when she called back she told me that the doctor said that there was no need for a repeat CT. PHEW!!! BUT, she said, "the doctor wants to see you right away"... Oh jeez. And this was on Friday. So ALL weekend I was like "what is IT?!". So this morning we went to see her. This lady is SO thorough and AWESOME! She went through every single blood test that she had me do and showed me if they were high or low. Everything was pretty normal except for the adrenal group, and that my bad cholesterol was perfect, but my good cholesterol was too low. Who would have though it could be too low?? I guess its possible.

So, she told me that she was diagnosing me with a defect called "Non Classic Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia". Whoa. She said that mine is a VERY mild form, and there really is not treatment for someone who has a mild form, except Metformin (which is made for controlling blood sugar, but research has found it helps with ovulation and some other hormones), and birth control (to kind of stop and restart all of my hormones. NCCAH basically is a recessive defect that I got from a parent. Mine was not as an infant, and reared its ugly head as an adult, however some of the symptoms make me wonder if I have had it all along. If you are interested, please look it up on mayoclinic. It's a little embarrassing, but it will change my life completely, knowing that this is something I have, and why I have some things going on with my body. It does talk about people with this defect are more into "male" activities growing up (I played softball, never wore dresses, and was always up a tree) - are shorter as adults (even though we grow normally as adolescents) and some other things. Weight gain, some excess body/facial hair (no, I wasn't growing a beard!)..
Matt told me all last week, "She is going to tell you something life changing", and he was right. Nothing negative, or life threatening, but if you know all about NCCAH and Metformin, you will know that this will change my life.
I've been doing some research off and on all day and I have found that I CAN pass it to my child, and that amniocentesis or CVS testing is highly recommended and to be with a specialist/perinatal during the pregnancy.
She did give me a prescription for Metformin, and again, those of you that know me, and how much of a wuss I am - this was hard for me. I hate meds. I don't even take a lot of tylenol. Seriously. Matt practically had to yell at me over dinner to swallow it. I did it, and I am alive - shocking right?! :)
The main thing that got me to take the Metformin? She said that (and of course I looked when I got home) Metformin has been researched many times, and has been shown to PROTECT a pregnancy from miscarriage in the 1st trimester!!
Some of you have asked - and the doctor DOES NOT think that this diagnosis has anything to do with the 2 miscarriages, and that it was just back luck, bad blood sugar, and weight. I believe her. As awful as it sounds, I was kind of hoping that this would be the answer. I know for a fact that the first m/c was due to poor health/blood sugar. I have a feeling Jakob left us too early because of the sub chorionic hemorrhage. Will I ever know for sure? Not until I am kneeling at His feet. And I look forward to that day, because I know my two precious beans will be standing with Him.
The other good news... I am NOT diabetic!! YIPEE!! I have controlled it SO well, that she is NOT giving me a diagnosis. However, she did tell me that she was diagnosing me with "metabolic syndrome" - too much to explain, but you can read about it online. Basically means that my numbers are fine, but that my fasting plasma glucose is elevated, but all my other numbers are fine. My A1C after baby bean was 5.6 (.1 below pre diabetic range), this time it was 5.4! Going down is GOOD! She told me that I only need to check my blood once a week or so.

THE BEST NEWS...... I have lost 29 lbs since baby bean! With a LOT of hard work and determination, I am actually losing weight! I would love to lose another 15-20 lbs, and I know I can do it.

Thank you to EVERYONE who has supported us, prayed for us, or just thought about us. We truly appreciate it with all of our heart.

Without further ado, please enjoy this song - that has now become my lifes anthem, especially after today. The words just float around in my heart and make me feel love.