Wow!!!

I have totally flaked on blogging during this pregnancy! Partly because my sweet husband bought me an ipod touch for my birthday (he gave it to me early), and I have yet to turn on the computer at home (can't blog on the ipod touch). I'm in LOVE with the ipod touch. I swear its an iphone, just without the phone. I have pregnancy apps, facebook, news, weather, games.. Everything on it!

This pregnancy is still (God willing) going PERFECT! It's unbelievable how FAST it goes, when there is nothing to worry about. On Monday I go in for my 16 week check with the OB and then 3 weeks later I am back to perinatal for our anatomy scan! But most exciting - will be next Wednesday, when we find out (as long as little bean cooperates!) if this little bean is a boy or a girl!! We went around 14 weeks (this company guaranteed to find sex at this week, or come back for free if they couldn't determine), and even though I knew somehow I wouldn't leave there knowing the sex, I did enjoy seeing little bean jumping around on the ultrasound for 20 minutes, and we got a DVD. We also got a sneak peek at bean with the 4d camera. Anyway, bean kept his/her knees SHUT and ankles crossed the ENTIRE time!! Everyone says this baby will have mommy's personality (stubborn!).. :) No doubt it will, and daddy's mellowness will be nowhere in sight! ;) So, we go back for our redo next Wednesday, and I swear I cannot think of anything else. I want it to be the 30th SO bad!

Sometimes I am amazed at how uncomplicated this pregnancy is, considering the last two... I can't say for sure, but my feeling is that this medication I am on is saving it from any problems. Sometimes, I get so sad/angry, because I had this prescription in hand, for the first AND second pregnancy, but didn't take it. I often wonder what would be today if I had taken it.. Would I have a 6 month old? Would I have a 1 month old? I know it's unfair to think this way, but I just feel so guilty, like I caused those 2 babies to die because I didn't take a pill.

Another problem with losing 2, is that I am still SO nervous. I know I am past the miscarriage (for the most part) stage, but I just worry! I'm sure I will worry up until viability at 24 weeks!

Either way, I am enjoying this pregnancy and am thanking God daily for the gift he has given us! I have great feelings about this baby coming home in September! Please pray that everything continues to go perfectly, as it has for 4 months now. :) Thank you!

Matt is doing well, his shoulder is STILL in a sling, and will remain there for ANOTHER 3 weeks. He starts PT next week, which he is ecstatic for! He is looking forward to being able to move his arm/shoulder without pain. He is also SO anxious to go back to work (hopefully)!

2nd Trimester

Wow, its been almost 3 weeks since I last blogged. I think in a way, I didn't want to. I was kind of afraid of jinxing myself or something weird. I've been having this jinx feeling ever since I became pregnant. "If I tell them, will something bad happen?".. "If I buy maternity clothes will something bad happen?"

Then, I bring myself back to reality. I realize that anything can happen at anytime, and that I have no control. God is in control, not me. He has given me the gift to carry 3 children, and I hope His next gift is the gift of life.

Back to the reason for this blog entry! I made it to the 2nd trimester! Hallelujah! Tomorrow will be the farthest along I have ever been! I lost baby Jakob at exactly 13 weeks... BUT, I was bleeding from 10w5d on. This pregnancy has been clockwork and has brought NO problems upon us. Nothing any Dr. is worried about. No raised eyebrows. No nothing!

When I decided that we would try again in December (we were going to wait until Jan or Feb) I prayed to God and asked him to not let me become pregnant, if the pregnancy wouldn't last. Now, so far we are on track! It appears He has answered this prayer, and I couldn't be more blessed and thankful to Him. I told him also, that this child would be His. We will raise this child in His eye. Through His name.

Thank you God for giving me this gift of life!!