Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I guess this is our life!

As most of my readers know, Matt has been hospitalized for a "problem" with his heart (among other things). First it started as in infection, and now they think there may be a problem with his coronary artery. He is having a lot of tests to determine the cause. I feel so bad when he is hospitalized because he is not one to just sit around and wait. I also feel bad because I am home and I hate being without him. I'm hoping that within the next couple of days they find the root of this issue and can fix it. Please pray for a full recovery so he can come home to be with his family before the Holidays begin.

Evan has been having some issues at school with bullies. You never think your child will be apart of this growing rampage, but it does happen. Talk to your children about bullying. Most of the time they're too afraid to come forward on their own. Please pray for Evan and his Strength! He needs it right now.

My new OB doctor called the other day to let me know the results of all of my blood work. All of the chromosome/genetic sides of the tests came back perfect. However, I did have one elevated test that showed an issue with clotting. She said it wasn't really high, but high enough that she will retest in 6 weeks. If it comes back elevated again, she will refer me to a Perinatal doctor. She said usually women with this high level are put on baby aspirin, or Lovenox for the entire pregnancy. She also said it could be the cause of the demise in the pregnancies. As I am elated that genetically and chromatically I am perfect, but I am saddened that I will probably not be able to have a pregnancy that is just a perfect one. I will sacrifice anything I have to, in order to birth a child one day. Please pray for me so that I can gain an understanding with all of this pregnancy "stuff" and please pray for me to stay calm during this time. In about 3 weeks I return to the endocrinologist doctor, and if everything looks good there, she will give us the "green light" to try again. I am terrified. Scared. Confused. Sometimes I am too afraid to even want to try again, but Matt gives me hope and courage. So does my family and close friends. But unless you've been down this road first hand, words are a lot easier to say than actually doing something. So please pray with me that I can gain an understanding and a calming attitude to this whole fertility phase we are going through.

Really, none of this is new for me! I am used to Matt being in the hospital. I am now used to hearing about blood results and seeing endless Dr.'s (Matt and mine). This is our life. I wouldn't have it any other way.

And now for some randoms...

Did you see the bible verse at the top of this blog? Wow. I was speechless when I found it. If you read my blog about Jakob and his name and meaning, and how Jakob changed my life forever, you will know this verse is so perfect for me. Without the sorrow of losing my child, I would not be walking with the Lord the way that I am today.

Matt and I have been reading a book we got from Church. It's about Treasures, and tithing, and the items you have in your life (materialistic things). We read a sentence in the book and loved it! "You'll never see a hearse pulling a Uhaul. Why? Because you can't take it with you!". Instead of storing up your items on earth (that you can't take with you), store up your treasures in Heaven, where you will enjoy in them for eternity! There was another funny part in the book where a man asked an family member about his deceased relative "How much money did he leave?" "All of it". So funny, and SO true! I know this is so abstract, but I just had to share!